D.I.D

Dissociative Identity Disorder:  a psychiatric condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities, known as alter egos.

Also Known As: Multiple Personality Disorder

Alternate Definition: toddlerhood.

Good Job

Things that have earned one of my girls a "good job" from me over recent days:

• Burping
• Pooping
• Not getting aforementioned poop on their clothes
• Napping
• Tooting
• Eating green beans
• Not eating dirt
• Not eating potpurri
• Closing a closet door
• Turning the page in a book
• Putting laundry in the hamper
• Remembering to say "Help, please" instead of screaming like a wild banshee when they needed something.
• Responding with"Woof!" when asked when a doggie says
• Locating her belly button

Things on the above list I'm also capable of:

• All of them

Number of "Good job"s I've gotten: 0

There is a serious lack of equality in this household.

Overheard

Yesterday after church Jamie went to the grocery store for me. Because I loathe the grocery store. So I made him a list and he did the shopping. After he got home, I realized I'd forgotten to plan anything for dinner. So he went back to the store to pick up something for us to eat and then came home and cooked it. As he cooked, I sat at the kitchen island and talked with him. "Sorry I stink at wifehood," I said. He replied, "It's alright. I'm pretty awesome at being a husband so we average out ok."

The man has never suffered from a lack of self-confidence!